Wednesday, June 23, 2010

General Petraeus Conspiracy!

Big news today. Puppet master wiggles his fingers and bam! new neo-fascist war pig in control of operations in Afghanistan. McChrystal-Obama-MacArthur-Truman give me a break. Another media hoax deceives the masses. What else is new?

June 15, 2010: General David H. Petraeus inexplicably faints during a testimony before the Senate Armed Services Committee. Such a stunning show of weakness from a prominent and allegedly powerful man.

But wait. A mere two days before this mysterious occurrence, we learn that there are vast mineral riches buried in the mountains of Afghanistan - to the tune of $1 trillion. This includes large quantities of Lithium, which we use to make batteries for laptops, iPods, Blackberrys, etc.

Now I don't know exactly when the infamous Runaway General article was written. But I do know that the Soviets have known about those mineral deposits for a while now. And I have a hard time believing none of our guys had a hunch about why we were still there fighting long after Osama Bin Laden died. Certainly General Petraeus knew about it, as he was quoted in the New York Times saying:

“There is stunning potential here...There are a lot of ifs, of course, but I think potentially it is hugely significant.”

I'm sure one of these "ifs" is whether or not the man on the ground will do what he's told.

In the late days of the Roman empire, if a man wanted to gain power he just needed the legions to do it. And granted, a lot has changed since then - but the essence of power remains the same. Raw strength goes a long way, which could prove inconvenient to the shadowy forces seeking to fully consolidate their power.

Suppose this General McChrystal had a bit of an independent streak. That is his reputation after all, right? The Powers could have blackmailed him with this Rolling Stone profile for months in hopes that he'd just play along. He knew his fate long before this issue hit the newsstands. They told him if he cooperated They could make the whole thing go away (we've seen how our 1st Amendment is doing lately).

And when General McChrystal continued his insolence towards our invisible enemies, they let the article go out. They unplug Petraeus just long enough to remind him who's boss. And there you have it. New commander of forces in Afghanistan, real friendly to the idea of gettin' at all that Lithium and Cobalt.